Sugar Overload w/ A cup of Coffee

Yesterday after seeing a recipe for Cinnamon Roll pancakes my mouth was watering at the idea. So, I told my very willing husband that I planned on making them for breakfast today.

They were SO yummy but I could only eat two. They were so very rich and yummy. There is so much butter in these. Did I mention they were yummy?

I'm not sure who to give credit to for the recipe or the photo so via facebook.com

Cinnamon Roll Pancakes

Ingredients:

... for the Pancakes:
4 cups all-purpose flour
8 tsps baking powder
2 tsp. salt
4 cups milk
4 tbsps vegetable oil
4 large eggs, lightly beaten

for the Cinnamon Filling
1 cup butter, melted
1 1/2 cup brown sugar, packed
2 tbsp ground cinnamon

for the Cream Cheese Glaze
1/2 cup butter
4 oz. cream cheese
1 1/2 cups powdered sugar
1 tsp. vanilla

Directions:

To make the Cinnamon Filling:
Mix the three ingredients together. Place in a disposable piping bag and snip the end off or put in a Ziploc bag and snip the corner off.


To make the Pancakes:
Mix the dry ingredients in one bowl and the wet ingredients in another bowl. Stir them together until everything is moistened leaving a few lumps.

Heat your griddle to exactly 325 degrees. You don't want these too cook too quickly, and you won't want your cinnamon to burn.

Make desired size pancake on greased griddle and then using the piping bag and starting at the center of the pancake, create a cinnamon swirl. Wait until the pancake has lots of bubble before you try to turn it. You will find that when you turn it the cinnamon swirl will melt. The cinnamon will melt out and create the craters which the cream cheese glaze will fill.

To make the Cream Cheese Glaze:
In a microwave safe bowl melt the butter and cream cheese and then stir together. Whisk in the powdered sugar and vanilla. Add a little milk if needed to make
it a glaze consistency.

Place pancake on plate, then cover with cream cheese glaze.




Doesn't that just scream, "Eat Me!"



They goes very well with His Coffee!  I enjoyed a cup of Holy Grounds (Medium Roast).  If you haven't tried His Coffee yet. You should. It's a Christian Company based in California who's mission is to spread the habit of spending time in prayer while enjoying your daily cup of coffee. They also have some great teas if you are a tea drinker.

Patron Saint Of Homemakers

I started thinking about St. Martha a few days ago. To my delight I noticed today is her feast day. I am more of a Martha than I should be. I tend to be a Martha. When we have people over I tend to focus more on taking care of everything than on the people. This may be because of my overwhelming desire to try to make things...perfect. (They never are) I would just always like for them to be. Doesn't everyone?

Isn't this a lovely rendition of her?

 I would love to be the perfect hostess with creative décor and great food. Is that more because of pride or because I want to treat everyone as Christ? I fear it is because I'm prideful. One of the things I've been praying for lately is to become more like Mary, the sister to Martha and Lazarus. To focus more on Christ within the person. I want to treat everyone as I would Christ. It's hard. It's incredibly hard.

 

Chapter 53 of St. Benedict's Rule is concerned with the treatment of guests, who are to be received "as Christ Himself". This Benedictine hospitality is a feature which has in all ages been characteristic of the order. The guests are to be met with due courtesy by the abbot or his deputy, and during their stay they are to be under the special protection of a monk appointed for the purpose, but they are not to associate with the rest of the community except by special permission.
 via: Catholic Encyclopedia

I want to strive to better greet guests as I would Christ walking through my door.

Here is a novena to St. Martha! I'll be beginning this tomorrow!

Here are two links to information about St. Martha. EWTN's & Catholic Online

Back To School

School is starting up in 4 short weeks. Where did my summer go? Although, I can't lie. Isn't there just something so special about going back to school in the fall? Isn't there an excitement in the air? Most kids get to go pick their school supplies, back packs, and shoes.



Who isn't ready to come deal with this everyday until a holiday instead of spending time with their families in the sun and drinking margaritas?

 I know my teacher friends are all probably dreading their summer break being over. Parents on the other hand are happy to have a little bit of time back to themselves.

Fall has always been my favorite time of year. It's cooler, there are Friday night football games, all the back to school festivities, the leaves start to change color, my birthday, and Thanksgiving. In my opinion fall is the best time of the year. I'm exciting to be sharing this fall with my little man. He may even be able to partake in some of the many comfort foods of Thanksgiving this year. How great is that?!? I'll have to be sure to take a lot of pictures.

I want this right now. YUM!

Maybe it has always been the beginning of school that has filled me with this great hope for change or maybe it's the changing of the leaves that make change seem so easy. Walking thru the store I love seeing all the back to school, school supplies. I want to go and pick all my stuff out too. Although, as a online student, it doesn't really matter because no one sees these things but me. I also have more than enough school supplies at home from previous years that it just seems silly to buy anything else. Plus, they are probably not in the budget.


Whoa! Wasn't today beautiful? I could have stayed outside all day. I wish we were camping right now. It would have been a nice night to cuddle up to my guys in a tent. (Which reminds me, I can't wait to take my little man camping!!!!)


 What is your favorite thing about fall? I'd love to know!

Are you looking for a Challenge?

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You won't be disappointed!!

What If?

For the longest time I was haunted by the question...What if?


Now you may not know this but, I am a worrier. I constantly worry. I worry if I left the oven on. If one eye brow is tweezed funny while the other one looks normal. I worry about my family. I worry about my friends. I worry about if my husband is eating enough. I worry that I don't cut my nails near as often as I should or my son's nails for that matter. I could go on for hours about the things that I worry about in my head. The point is that I worry.


I spent a lot of time with my grandmother growing up. My dad says I must have gotten the "worry gene" from her. I do believe some of her worries rubbed off on me like kids being around water. I worry they could slip and crack their head open, they could hit their head and drown, they could ...etc. etc. etc.  (Said in the voice of the King from "The King and I")


As I've grown up I worried about boys. I worried about friends. I've worried about grades. I've worried about boys. I've worried about money. I've worried about jobs. I've worried about boys. Did I mention I worried about boys...A LOT? I did. It's true. I think it's why God gave me a son first. He knew I had lots of practice already worrying about them. (I was a silly silly girl)



I think that I also held onto a lot of things. By things I mean feelings. I held on to anger, bitterness, jealousy, and hurt. I held onto resentment. Why? I have a friend who would tell you I'm terrible at forgiveness. I've even been given a self help book on forgiveness before. So, I'm sure you get the picture. I am a "bottle it upper." I don't "let go". I'm even worse at forgiving myself for things.



There comes a moment in your life when everything is put into perspective. A growing up moment. A time when you realize every little thing that you've been holding on to is really holding you down. It's like you're in a beautiful big hot air balloon and it's ready to take off into the sunset but it's not moving. You look down and see all the feelings and people that are holding it down and you are holding the rope to them. One by one you have to let the feelings and people go. You have to. Really...LET GO!

This goes along with facing fears. I faced one of my biggest fears this year. I won't share what it was because it is intricate but, it was a huge fear. I faced it and although I sweated. A LOT. I faced it head on. I worried the whole time (that is really just me) but at the end of the day I felt 100 times better. I didn't let the what if's get the better of me. I didn't let the what if's tell me I'd be better off doing/saying/thinking something else. Sometimes our greatest enemy is ourselves.



The what if's of my life no longer control me. I have to battle them occasionally but they do not get to control what I feel. They don't get to be held on to anymore. I decided to let go and my big hot air balloon is taking me on an adventure that I never expected.

Although, I am afraid of heights so it isn't taking me far. Possibly only to the closest place that serves cheesecake and wine.

Wine

I like wine. I really like wine. No, really! I enjoy wine so much. The first thing I bought when I turned 21? A bottle of wine.



While J.B and I were engaged, every Monday we would buy a different, on sale, bottle of wine. We saved this wine for after we were married. We were engaged for 9 months. That is  39.1339286 weeks. So, we roughly had that much wine.

I didn't exactly get to enjoy many of those bottles because 18 days after our wedding day I found out we were expecting. So, my husband drank most of those bottles of wine. (Not all at once, I promise)

Now that we've run out. (Gasp) Now I know how Captain Jack Sparrow felt when he ran out of rum.

We're starting to collect again. Yay! I'm so excited....this is how I feel!!

 Recently we've had a few bottles. I'll be putting some reviews of them up here shortly.

Tonight, I will attempt to make something I have never made before. Squash Patties. They are healthy-ish. This could be a cooking disaster. Stay tuned! :)

Thoughts on Pants & Veils

I have been wearing a lot more skirts and dresses since I've had John. This could be because I can only comfortably wear my maternity jeans ( I only have one pair), because it's easier to use the bathroom when I'm wearing him in the Moby, because they are cooler when hanging the clothes on the line, and/or because maybe it's more appropriate.

Isn't this pretty, fashionable, and modest?? I love this!

I have recently been pondering if it really is more appropriate for me to wear skirts and dresses everyday instead of just on special occasions or for Mass. I remember my mother telling me she wasn't allowed to wear pants to school until she was a junior in high school. I remember being confused by not being "allowed" to wear pants. I was doing some research and found that many schools had it as a dress code until 1972.


When I was in school. I wore our uniform which consisted of a skirt and I LOVED IT. Except during winter. During winter it was a chore to shave my legs. Lol My socks came up to almost my knee and the skirt came down to my knee so, really I just had to shave the barely not there space where someone could possibly notice. (which I'm sure no one did)
Picture of me (left)  and a friend, Angie from high school.


I also read that some religions require as a rule for women to wear skirts/dresses because the bible says "("A woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man", Deuteronomy 22:5"

When my husband was working with some Amish men on a fence for a ranch. They asked him if I wore pants. I think in their culture it is very important for women to wear skirts.

I feel different, maybe more feminine, when wearing dresses or skirts. I feel more presentable for sure. Jeans have always been a favorite of mine. I find them, most comfortable. They go with almost EVERYTHING. Which is nice. I think that the same can be said for skirts though if you buy them in colors that match what you already have.
Picture of me, super pregnant, wearing one of my FAVORITE dresses.

It also says that women should cover their heads.
St. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 11:4-10 :

"Any man who prays or prophesies with his head covered brings shame upon his head. But any woman who prays or prophesies with her head unveiled brings shame upon her head, for it is one and the same thing as if she had had her head shaved. For if a woman does not have her head veiled, she may as well have her hair cut off. But if it is shameful for a woman to have her hair cut off or her head shaved, then she should wear a veil. A man, on the other hand, should not cover his head, because he is the image and glory of God, but woman is the glory of man. For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; nor was man created for woman, but woman for man; for this reason a woman should have a sign of authority on her head, because of the angels."

I wear a veil when I attend Mass. I do this because it is showing humility. It is a sign of my husband's authority over me. I used to think of it as a way to not distract men from what is really happening at the altar but now, I see it more as a way to make myself more prepared for Mass. It helps me to put my mind where it should be when I put it on. It helps me throughout the Mass to keep my eyes forward (almost like blinders) where they should be.  It is an attempt to be more like our Mother Mary who is always pictured with her veil. So perfect of a woman, that she was chosen to bear Jesus.



 I would love to read your thoughts!

Community

Monday went by SO fast! Tuesday too!

For those of you who don't know I'm working on unpacking from a move. We're still doing some work on the house so, we can't really put everything away yet. It kinda looks a little crazy and packed in here because of it. Slowly I've been getting things done and put away and am starting to feel a whole lot better about the house.

My good friend Kate came over to help me get some things done this Monday & Tuesday. She is a HUGE HUGE HUGE help!!


I've been searching for a topic to write about and a few things have popped into my mind but, I'll not bore you with a SUPER long post. I think one of the biggest things I have learned since being a mother is that I long for community.

After I had John and came home and started feeling better. I felt alone. Yes, I had family close, I had friends, and my husband was SUPER helpful but, I needed to talk to other women who were going through the things I was emotionally and physically. Who were adjusting and struggling. Who were exhausted and dealing with post partum blues. It is so hard to feel alone within a struggle.


I waited until John was almost 3 months old before I stepped up and said I HAD to do something. I was feeling stir crazy and just needed an excuse to do my hair! I needed to get out and be with other people.    
          


I ended up going to a La Leche League informal meeting. On my way there I kept telling myself...I can just turn around. I'll go home. I kept asking myself numerous what if's. After I got there I met some wonderful women. There were all talking about having the same issues I was having and some I wasn't having. I felt accepted. I felt like I could breathe again. I went home feeling 100 times better than I did before. I felt like me for the first time since having John.



I think that my vocation of being a wife and mother includes my desire for community. As I talked about in my previous post the desire to fit in. The desire to have a place. I found within the La Leche League meetings a community that I can fit into. I can just show up with other moms and talk about whatever I am struggling with or have accomplished since the last meeting.


Today I went to a meeting. Today I got home and realized that just being gone for a few hours with other women can change my attitude and the way I feel about how I'm doing as a mother.

We all know that there is immense pressure on women today. Not just to look how society tells us but to parent how society tells us and how to be the perfect wife and have the perfect home. It's a lot. Sometimes we just need to have someone else tell us that it's all going to be ok. NO ONE really has their act together. No one is perfect. No one is really supermom! We all have our God given talents but we also all have of weaknesses. Every single one of us struggles.





How cute! These snails are HUGGING!!!

Good Marriage Examples

I've heard so many young girls say that they never want to get married. HUH?! They have this idea that marriage is filled with battles of control, yelling matches, constant bickering, unfaithfulness and unhappiness. Well if that's what I imagined marriage as, I would probably steer clear from it too. Why do so many young people have this idea? Poor examples of what marriage should be and the media.

My grandparents were my biggest role models. They met at church. They started dating when my grandmother was 13 (which would have made my grandfather 16). They were married when my Grandmother was 17. The were happily married until the day she died. I think they had been married 52 years. 52 years!!! That is a lot of time living with someone, sharing the same bed, and parenting with someone else. 52 YEARS. After all that time, they still were crazy about each other. It's amazing. It is truly beautiful! I can only hope my marriage is as beautiful as theirs was.

My husband and I have been married just a little over a year now and I feel as though, I have always been married to him. It almost feels like my life before I was married to him was just a dream. Many people told me that the 1st year is the hardest. Well, if this year was the hardest than the rest of our married life will be a piece of cake. (I highly doubt it will be a piece of cake...but if it was, I would want it to be cheesecake) Cheesecake is my favorite.

I hope that my generation can help change the minds of these children that are growing up in such a broken world. I hope that my generation can have marriages and not just weddings that end in divorce. I have hope.

I think marriage is the best. I love love love being married. That being said, marriage is hard. Marriage is a lot of work. I'm sure that I haven't even had to put that much work into it yet. I'm sure there will be a lot of hard times ahead of us. I know that all the good times that are in store for us will greatly out weigh any of the hard times.

Can't Take It With You Friday

Well, this Friday I was on the gogogo. It was a busy day. My in-laws were having a garage sale, so my Goodwill pile actually went there instead of Goodwill. Ops, but still to other people and out of my house. Plus, I made just enough to buy myself a bottle of wine! YAY!  There is a laundry basket of stuff animals that are actually going to a pregnancy care center for new Moms and babies! Awwww. :) Can I count those as my 3 things? ...I didn't think so. Since I already had those in mind to give away they don't really count.

Increase of material comforts, it may be generally laid down, does not in any way whatsoever conduce to moral growth.
Mahatma Gandhi

First item - These are the cutest pair of peep toed high heels I have ever owned...actually the ONLY pair of peep toed shoes I've ever owned. I wore them a few times to weddings and such. They are super uncomfortable. The reason they are going into the Goodwill pile is I'm prone to tripping and I can't imagine carrying my little man around and tripping in these crazy cute shoes. I would feel terrible if I hurt him from my clumsiness.

 

The second item is my favorite pair of brown heels that I NEVER wear. Aren't they cute??



The third item is this pink hat. I've never worn it. lol

 

 

 

 

 Here is a picture of all 3 together. :)

 

 

 

 

 

I have NEVER fit in and that is OKAY

Oh...sigh.


I have always struggled with friends. I can still remember a day when I was a daycare. Yes, daycare. Yes, I DO remember that far back. I remember this because it hurt me so much. It was probably my first day or  . . . who knows maybe it was this other kids first day. We were sent to centers to go play and I saw this curly blonde haired girl with huge blue eyes. She looked like someone who might be a princess. (this is the pre-school me talking here) I told her she was beautiful. Maybe it was because she was so different looking than me. Maybe it's because she looked like Kelly (Barbie's little sister).

and I looked more like this...

Yes I did look like a little boy. My mom cut my hair that way because I refused to let her brush it. (this isn't really me)

 

She told me to go away or something. As a 3 maybe 4 year old, I just went and played some where else but, I think it's interesting that even today, I still feel that rejection.

I don't have any friends that I've known since childhood. I never had that "group" of friends that do everything together. If anything, I dated people who had that group and bounced from group to group. I was never accepted into the group.

When I moved at the end of my sophomore year of high school. I was ready for a change. I needed a change. I needed to reinvent myself. I needed to grow. It may not have been where I was or who I was friends with that led me down the road that created this need but, no one was there to save me from myself.  There is this thing that goes along with never truly feeling like you fit in. It is desperation. If you are desperate enough, you'll do anything. My anything made me ashamed of myself. I would go as far as to say it made me hate myself.

My first day at Bishop Carroll was terrifying to say the least. I didn't know anyone really. Unless you counted the girls from the basketball team that I played on and they were younger than me. BC isn't the smallest school either, so it's not like I could just go find them. I wasn't THAT kind of friends with them anyhow.

I knew walking in that I DID NOT FIT IN. It almost felt like it was written across my forehead.

Throughout the year I made some friends. One friend who took me under her wing and has a very special place in my heart. Though we don't talk anymore, I still love her. I still hope only the best for her. It's just that, we grew in two very different ways. It hurts me everyday.


I tried to be friends with one group of friends who shared the same lunch table with me when I was still the "new girl". They all ate really healthy...so I made sure each day my lunch looked as healthy as theirs. All because, I wanted to fit into their group.

I even got invited to a party. Which, went terribly because of a prank. Which made it even more apparent that I DID NOT FIT IN.

I went to college and was roommates with a wonderful girl who is the only person, after my husband that I can call a true friend. Although at the time, I didn't feel like I fit in with her either. I tried many things in college and the biggest thing I did, was try to FIT IN. Which I didn't. I was never myself and it left me depressed. Hugely depressed. I didn't even want to get out of bed.

Why am I writing all of this? Well, right now it's feeling very therapeutic. I've never talked about this before but I'm really writing all of this because now that I'm 23 going on 24 in October (It doesn't sound old but gosh it feels like it) I realize it is OKAY. It is okay that I don't fit in. It has always made things harder for me. It has always made me try harder, usually at something out of my comfort zone.

God made me weird. God made me unique. God made me special. (A guy friend once gave me a keychain in high school that said "I'm not weird, I'm special" It's taken me till now to realize, that's true) There is only one me. There will never be another person just like me. I have been learning how to love myself for who I am and not who everyone else wants me to be. To tell you the truth, I like me a lot better than who I was when I was trying to fit in all the time.

Even now, I don't have that group of friends. Do I still desire that? Yep. Sure, do. Will I ever find one? I don't know. I'm not searching. I'm happy in my own little world for now. I have my faith, family, and a few good friends who accept me for who I am and loved me, before I knew how to.